Sunday, September 12, 2010

Life: it goes on




its here….yep, my big tests (kill me now) and then, end of school…fini!!  i don’t know how to feel yet, ask me after tuesday. one thing that i can definitely say is i’m sooooo scared about what/where i’m to be after school ends….


“in three words i can sum up everything I’ve learned about life:  
 it goes on” 
~~robert frost~~

indeed, it will go on and I need to figure it out.


i’ve been thinking about the last year and a half and i’m flooded with memories, both good and the bad.  this experience has stretched me in ways i could never have imagined.  i have had some incredibly tough challenges, but i also have grown in ways that i don’t think i could have if i hadn’t come back home and gone to nursing school and been with the people i was with. thinking about all of it, i’m trying to have a clear perspective on how to move forward, what i have learned, and what i need to change.


a few of the positives and not so positives…..
~long car drives, sometimes half asleep, and one car accident during the winter.  this is when i learned the word “panic attack”
~there are some really bad teachers… the greatest and most inspiring people in the world should be in the profession because they make ALL the difference!  there are a couple of good ones but are NOT enough of them.
~there are really mean (fully-grown) adults.  people need to magnify themselves at the expense of others and other’s feelings.  its sad.

"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others. 
For beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness. 
And for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone."
- - Audrey Hepburn - -

~i know i care.  as insecure and frustrated as i have been at times, i know that there is one thing i can offer that will help me in my profession. its not hard for me to love…i  feel when i see patients in pain, patients that are trying to keep their dignity,  patients that are treated rude and with disrespect.  it only takes really small, simple things to make a big difference..
~i understand pain.  kidney stones.
~i understand happiness…and heartache.  there was a boy.  where is the disconnect button?
~my home in the forest is an amazing refuge.
~my family’s support is unwavering and unfailing.
~my own voice.  i needed one and i know what it sounds like now. 
~the Lord knows me best.  i should trust Him.  i need the spirit in my life all the time. but i have to pay the price to have the spirit with me. its worthwhile work....i need to remember that.


...so here i go!